Life Really is Weird

Well, I skipped last week so here we are at week 8, this Sunday the 27th being my 2 month mark. Hard to believe. I really didn't have too much to write about last week because, well, I haven't been doing much. But since I didn't update last week, there's a couple things to update on today...

The pathology results are finally in and it literally couldn't be any better, unless there was no tumor to begin with. They downgraded the tumor to a Grade I Astrocytoma, which is considered benign, or at least the most benign of all the astrocytomas. The weird thing about them is that they're extremely rare to begin with and found mostly in the cerebellum (an area of the brain stem) of children and about 60% of cases have a genetic link. Well, I'm not an adult and it was found almost as far away from my cerebellum as you can get and I'm in the 40% who just grows a random tumor with no relation to DNA. To quote the radiation-onc. "I'm just not someone who likes to follow the rules". They're so rare in adults that there's not much information on them online and I still haven't met with my oncologist to get the prognosis/statistics/general 411. I had my second follow up MRI last week and there are signs of healing and improvement and no sign of tumor regrowth. In other words, this last week has been a good one. The good news is I definitely don't need radiation now. 

My incision is almost completely healed but I do have still have a few bald spots. Luckily, I have so much hair I can just cover it up. My scalp is still extremely itchy... like an itch that cannot be scratched... and it happens to be on the numb spot. I know this is a sign of healing, and I have previously read that it is a problem but I didn't understand how itchy they meant. It's painful it's so itchy. The things I want to know are.... how does a numb spot itch and how are you supposed to scratch an itch on a numb spot? It seems to be located on top of and around where the plate is. But I still can't use too many products because I'm still doing some healing. I asked the doc and he said that should stop after 6 months... sooooo only 4 months to go! Maybe the itch is one of those things you get used to -- but as I'm typing this, I can feel it. 

Other than that, everything is great/getting better. I've been walking more, painting more, reading more, and seeing some people a little more. I am still having some slight vertigo issues, but I have been feeling much more energized. My medication seems to make me colder when it's cold and hotter when it's hot. This summer should be just amazing. If you see the sweaty outline of human being somewhere, don't worry... it's just me. I go back to work next week, and all parties agreed I should not teach the rest of the semester. So I will be learning other aspects of my job that I should have been learning this semester anyway. I went out to a kickball game and saw a bunch of my friends last week. My team changed their name to "Charlie's Angels" which is adorable and I'm honored that they did that, they all feel like part of my family. Hopefully it is temporary though because No Basic Pitches is the best name ever. I also didn't feel a large amount of anxiety when socializing with a whole lot of people which is a huge improvement from just a few weeks ago. 

Anyway, I know this is off my usual topic but I wanted to dedicate the rest of this week's post to my friend Loren O'Keeffe and her brother Daniel...

I met Loren on Facebook in late July of 2012. At the time, I was getting a lot of messages from people due to my sister's missing person campaign. Loren really stood out to me, because she was the face of her younger brother's missing person campaign. We started off Facebook messaging, then we skyped and texted, and then she told me she would be in New York and I was there. Oddly enough, she isn't the first best friend I met on the internet, I'll have to tell the story about how I met a gal named Bailey and ended up being in her wedding. In fact, there were many similarities her and I shared, especially in search of our missing siblings. Loren and I are also both very sassy, and have bold personalities, and decent senses of humor. Although, I will say that she is certainly more assertive than I am and she has an excellent sense of business...both of which are things that I am still learning. I had the pleasure of meeting Loren in real life in New York city in 2013 and then I went out to Melbourne, Australia for the website launch of a missing person guide Loren designed for her organization Missing Persons Advocacy Network (MPAN). You can see her organization's website here: http://mpan.com.au/ and the missing person guide she created here: http://www.missingpersonsguide.com/. Loren is the person who inspired me to start an organization of my own, especially after seeing the amount of time and energy it took to build a website. Loren and I formed an unbreakable bond and I can't express the level of connection that we share and always will...we have helped each other through many tough times and I know we will continue to do so in the future. I have met many other people who have suffered from missing people and even some other people with missing siblings but no one quite like Loren.

You can see pictures of us here, the first was in Oz and the second was on the Brooklyn Bridge in New York:

When Loren and I first spoke it had been a little over a year since her brother, Daniel, went missing. He was struggling with depression and anxiety at the time of his disappearance and the last place he was seen was his parents’ home in Highton, Geelong. Depression is one of the most common illnesses in Australia, and estimated 45% of the population suffers from it in their lifetime. This created an ongoing battle between the family and the police. The police believed Daniel had committed suicide and the family believed he was living on the streets. For nearly 5 years, Loren has run a tireless campaign to bring her brother home safely. His case was very high profile in Australia and there have been sightings of Daniel all over the country and well... the world. Just like we ran the "Find Mickey Now" or "Bring Mickey Home" campaign, Loren created the "Dan Come Home" campaign. You can see the campaign website here: http://dancomehome.com/. The most impressive part of all of this is that Australia doesn't have missing person resources (meaning no police task forces dedicated specifically to missing people, no search and rescue teams, dog teams, etc.) the way the United States does so the O'Keeffe family has been working 3 times as hard. It was long believed that Daniel was out on the streets, living as a drifter and the possible sightings seemed to confirm that. Unfortunately, on this Monday (March 21) Dan's remains were found on the property of the O'Keeffe family. The same place where he went missing from. The oddest thing about discovering him there was that multiple police and civilian foot searches have been conducted on the property. It is possible the Daniel was gone for several months and at some point returned to his parent's property. You can read more about the story here: Daniel O'Keeffe Found. 

And this is Daniel:

From what Loren and her family has told me, it seems that Daniel was an amazing person. He was kind and gentle, smart, strong, he worked with kids and he brought a light into the room when he entered. And Loren and Daniel were very close, she is extremely protective over her baby brother. To sit here and try to describe the amount of pain I know the O'Keeffe family is experiencing right now would be impossible because the pain is impossible. When you have a loved one go missing, there is always the thought in the back of your mind "what if they're dead" but you try and push that away. Mostly because it's awful but also because people don't get as involved with missing person cases when the person is presumed dead. I haven't figured out why yet, it's just a trend. The problem is that pushing that thought away allows for terrible scenarios to manifest themselves. When I first got the phone call that Mickey was found I remember being so angry and wishing that she was just still missing. At the time I thought, surely a missing person is better than a dead one. But after the grieving period was over and I had time for reflection, I realized that knowing and having closure was, of course, the better option. 

Now that I am remembering my sister, nearly 4 years later, I am so grateful that we found out what happened to her and were able to recover her. I wouldn't change that for anything, other than having Mickey still here and alive. And I know right now Loren and her family are extremely angry --- probably about everything --- especially since Daniel has been with them the entire time. But I know in a few months, or a year, or several years from now they're going to look back on this and also be grateful that they now have peace. Living with the unknown truly is the worst part of having a missing loved one. And I don't know what happened to Daniel and I am very sad that he was recovered deceased, like many people I hoped that he was simply living on the streets or in the bush. But I am also happy for the family since one day this will bring about closure. It's so bittersweet to even describe it this way because it's such an awful situation. I don't know what else to say other than believe it or not - having a deceased loved one is better than having a tortured, starved, beaten, cold, dirty loved one. 

I know that Dan would be very proud of Loren, and probably also embarrassed about the fuss that was made over him. But she has really taken a terrible situation and channeled it into her community and country. The missing person guide and other resources she has established for other people are absolutely incredible and I am glad to see her community is putting love back into her and her family. Through this very difficult time I hope you will all join me in sending as much love, prayers, positive energy as we can muster to the O'Keeffe’s. I love them very much and I hope they come out stronger in the long run. I also hope Daniel has found his peace through the pain that he was coping with.