It's been a long time

Well... I haven't made a post in a while. The funny thing is I've actually written 3 blogs over the course of the last few months but I couldn't bring myself to finish them. They were about various topics: one was about how frustrated I was about a few things that were going on, another was remembering my sister, Mickey, and the other was about dealing with remembering Mickey. Maybe that's why I didn't finish them. I'm not sure. May is also a tough month though, I can tell you that much.

But aside from not following up on a few of those, the main reason I haven't been updating lately is because I've been busy. And believe it or not, it's a great problem to have. I started teaching again for the summer semester. I was really nervous about what would happen at first but it has been amazing. I suppose the beginning was a little rocky because I had to review a few things and get back on a rhythm. Teaching anything requires a certain rhythm and movement through the material and that skill is learned. And it's kind of like riding a bike, you get back on and practice a few times and then you're riding miles and miles. I suppose that how it feels after taking 4 months off. I'm still struggling with remembering certain words, especially in conversation but it's usually more funny than a hinderance. And the good thing is that I haven't forgotten any of the material I teach in class. I actually think getting back in the classroom is helping my brain heal, I feel sharper and sharper everyday and my social anxiety has nearly disappeared. I'm also starting to complete tasks a lot quicker so I feel 99% myself again.

Someone from my surgeon's office called the other day to check in on me. I told him about a few different things that are still happening. He said as long as each thing was improving steadily, it's a great sign. He also said most people who have had brain surgery report feeling "off" for a long time after the surgery and I guess that's the only word I have to describe how I feel now. Things are just a little bit different now. But it's such a small difference that you just can't put your finger on it.

Monday is the 5 month anniversary. I can't believe it's only been 5 months since I had brain surgery and I'm like a normal human being again. My strength levels are fully restored although I am a weakling now because I haven't really worked out since January. I have been doing a bit of exercise here and there but mostly I'm still walking a lot. I'm still having slight vertigo issues which makes it hard to do exercises that require up and down motions or a lot of movement. I'm sure the more I practice, the better that will become. ....I will say this though... Jillian Michaels, I am so glad you and your at home workout videos exist. Thank you. --- My scalp is still numb and it has been really, really itchy this week. It hasn't itched in such a long time and suddenly I can't scratch it enough. I did go a little overboard yesterday though... I scratched it way too much. Last night, it was sore and painful to touch and now I have a killer headache today. Another wonderful mile stone in my health is NO SEIZURES! I haven't experienced anything even close to an aura since late March. Jordan tells me I'm crazy, but sometimes I can feel a seizure wanting to come and then it just stops. Maybe I am making it up in my head, who knows. But it's the same feeling I would get just before my hand spasmed --- I feel it building up and then at the point I would normally have a partial seizure the feeling just dissipates. It's probably the medication. Keppra is still not really affecting me in any negative ways. It does make you feel drowsy and since I take it in the morning and at night, I always feel kind of sleepy, but not really. And I have started socializing. I still get a little anxious sometimes, especially in loud, bright places but that improves everyday. It's definitely a thought I have in the back of my head now, even when I'm in the middle of a conversation I notice that something doesn't feel quite right. I don't know...

Since it's been about 2 months since I last posted, quite a few great things have happened. I've seen some old friends and caught up with a lot of people I needed to see. I'm finally getting some work for the non profit done again and we just finished an event in New York. We are also getting ready for our 3rd Annual Artwalk that takes place every August in Lafayette. So if anyone out there is interested, we need artists and crafters interested in hanging some stuff and donating a portion of their sales to the organization :-) :-) :-). Jordan bought a house!!! A HOUSE! That's such an adult thing to do. It's a really beautiful home, and he keeps it very clean... very. clean. Of course, I have already broken two glass things and spilled and destroyed a few things but it wouldn't be my life if I wasn't messing up something with my clumsiness (so yes, some of the clumsiness has returned... that's just part of who I am I guess). - Anyway, I also bought a car... another very adult thing to do. Having some freedom again has made all the difference in the world, I am so much happier. My friend is also pretty close to having her baby, I have a few other friends with kids but this is my first super best friend who is going to have a baby. I'm intrigued to say the least, and very excited for her and her husband!

I will be seeing my neurologist at the end of next month for my 6 month check up. I will also be getting the second follow-up MRI then. I'm not going to pretend I'm not a little nervous. The tumor could be growing back already, it's not a strong possibility ... but I'm sure I'll be nervous every single time I get an MRI for the rest of my life. But it's better to know, that avoid the fact that one day the tumor may come back and now we will just catch it way earlier.

I want to end this particular post by saying this... I am saddened and heart broken about the events that took place in Orlando. Our lives are too short to harbor hatred against any and all groups of people. Please hug your neighbors, support your community and love all people. And all of us really need to learn to stop being so damn offended by everything. Sending out my love to all of you, until next time...